When is the last time you will see someone?
Everyday you pass by people you won’t see again for the
entirety of your life. They are like extras; they are just there coming and
going. But what about the people you
know ? The people you have met, interacted with, loved, hated, talked to,
learned something about? What about those people?
It’s hard to imagine because you never know when it’s going
to happen. There is no sense that you have that says, ‘this is the last time I
will ever see this person again’. When graduating high school or college, or
quitting a job, or moving you may have the sense that you won’t see a majority
of these people ever again. You will never know with any sort of finality. They
may go on to live long and happy lives parallel to yours. They may live in that
red house 4 blocks down and you just never happen to pass them by. But, You may
bump in to them in the grocery store, a party, the bar. Tragically, there might not ever be a chance
for you to see them ever again.
My brother graduated from Fairfield University last week and
a majority of the students he graduated with, many he didn’t even know, he will
probably never see again. Unfortunately, there is one student he will with
certainty never see again. This classmate, Deandre Lawton, crashed his car in
the early hours the day before his graduation. The baccalaureate mass was also
a memorial. What were the last thoughts his friends, his classmates had about
him? What if you didn’t like him? What if you loved him?
No one knew when he left a party on that fateful Friday
night that this would be the last time they will ever see Deandre. Someone I
spoke with said the last conversation they ever had with Deandre was him
bumming a cigarette, something so incredibly ordinary. A conversation that you
would never recognize as the last conversation you will ever have with this
person.
How will you find out that you never will see someone again?
This year I have had two friends pass away, both by
committing suicide. And I found out both had died via Facebook. It is possibly
one of the most bizarre ways to learn about something so sad. Before this year,
the only way I had found out about any deaths of people I had known were my
Mom, or a call from a friend. While this
is an awkward and strange phone call to have to make, it is undeniably human. I
have been on both sides of that phone; I’m not sure which is worse. To find out
about death from a website used for updating people on your life feels
unnatural, but perhaps it is becoming macabrely fitting. We use the site to
tell people what we are doing and it seems as though it has started to tell
people when we cease as well.
When will be the last time someone sees us?
Similarly to not knowing when you are seeing someone for the
final time is the opposite. What will the last impression you will leave on
someone. Is being a jerk to the person in traffic, to your waitress, to your
brother, what you want to have as your last act on this earth? You could be
watching a marathon when a bomb goes off, riding your bike to school and get
clipped by a bus, you may not have the will to continue on. Life is horribly
fleeting.
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