So, you favorite jeans ripped. In the crotch. Bummer. Don't be sad though, we can fix this.
Ok, You'll need scissors, a sewing needle of any size really, and dental floss. Why floss you ask? Well floss is stronger than thread because it's made out of plastic. An anarchist-punk friend of mine taught me that. (Her friend's band is called Anarcunts. That's all the credentials you need for anything, having a friend in a band called Anarcunts.) You'll also need some extra denim, maybe the cut-off part of the cut-offs you made 3 months ago. So throw on some Bad Brains, Gang Green, and any other punk band with alliteration, and let's do this.
Cover the rip with the extra denim (go liberally past the dimesions of the tear.) Thread the floss through the jeans and the extra denim, knotting after every go through. Just keep keep threading the needle through the jeans, back and fourth. Be careful not to thread the needle through two layers of your jeans, like the other leg for example, cause then you'll sew one leg of the jeans to the other.
Turned inside out.
Outside of the crotch.
Tear covered. Now no one can see your private bits, and you've saved your favorite jeans. Your friends may give you some guff but, realize they are wearing Gap and have never heard of Gang Green. So instead of trying to tell them how DIY (this stands for not having enough money for a real venue and also i wanna get drunk and break shit) and Punk you are, just drop it. If they don't know Gang Green they are probably not worth your time.