I bought a pen today for three dollars. It is a nice pen, a uni-ball, but while buying it I was being kicked in the back of the head by everything my Dad has ever said or would say. "Are you retahded? Why are you buyin pens at campus convenience fa three dollahs? You should wake up at 7 and go to staples and buy fifty pens fa three dollahs. What ah ya mistah money bags? Like ah Rockefellah ah somethin? Save ya money. Look i'm not opposed to you havin fun but ya there to study. Look at the economy the Chinese ah ruinin it. America is becoming a third world country and ya need to work hahd to succeed alright? Look when we ah came to this country we wah wicked poor you know? I didn't get no help from nobody. You got to undastand. And keep all that nasty shit off of facebook, when you ah gonna get hiaed people look at that shit alright? And wear a raincoat theres a lotta girls out there with nasty shit. you don't want ya dick to fall off am I right? And quit smoking".
This is an abbreviated version. I have literally gotten this entire speech before. Almost word for word several times.
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